Adult Relationships : Losing and meeting people

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 I don't know whether I'm alone in thinking that after I turned 21, the people in my life would always be the people in my life. I was no longer able to care about little disputes and passive-aggression. You just reach a point where you say to yourself, "It's not even worth bothering" and you feel like you have better things like a career to focus on.

But to what many people think (which includes me), growing older didn't make it any different than I lost certain people —it just altered how it happened and how I felt about it. It's actually the same thing, done a different way with a different mindset.

It seems to me that losing people is more about fading away or giving up than it is about arguments, battles, or confrontations these days. Perhaps when someone does something, you just decide that you don't really want to spend out with them if that's the kind of person they are.

It's more similar to a "mutual separation" or "amicable split"; you may decide to stop communicating with one another and set up dates altogether, and you might decide not to see them again on purpose. Though neither of you has really recognized or addressed it, you may have both come to terms with the fact that the relationship is essentially ended. Really, all you do is kind of just ghost each other.

My perspective on relationships with people has evolved as I've gotten older, and I consider things to be a little more mature now. In any case.

I acknowledge that individuals evolve. The person you first became friends with may not be the same now. It's possible that you won't get along, have different beliefs or values, or just grow apart. Time and age don't determine how much we change, regardless of when you met—whether it was a year ago when you were eight, sixteen, or something else entirely. Perhaps nothing has changed and you two remain the same individuals you were in the past. However, your priorities, attitudes, desires, and the people you want to spend time with may have changed. That's fine.

I have discovered that it's important to surround myself with positive, upbeat people who lift my spirits and make me feel good. I've come to realize that people who deplete my energy, make me feel worse than I did before we met, or whose beliefs and attitudes conflict with mine shouldn't be in my life. I've also discovered that sometimes it's preferable to let go of individuals and friendships rather than trying to force relationships that are clearly dysfunctional.

I've discovered that friendships can dissolve without any fault of the other party. It's not always about you when someone stops being your buddy; nothing has necessarily "happened" or gone wrong.

Friendships and surrounding yourself with good influencers are crucial, in my opinion. I believe that to share our highs, lows, and everything in between, we need a support system. However, I also think that prioritizing your own health and taking care of yourself comes first.

To go through life, I believe we need friends, but those friends don't have to be there all the time. Similar to how most people have several partners throughout a lifetime, this also applies to love relationships. It's common for people to come and go from our lives. However, I suppose it's only now that I've come to terms with it and stopped viewing it negatively, in the last year 2023 I met lot of new people and lost many of them carried some of them to this year, and personally I have made peace with the way it works.


Consider yourself first rather than your ex-friends, "what went wrong," or "what you/they did." Pay attention to the individuals in your life who make you happy, fulfilled, honest, supportive, and who you couldn't imagine living without. Concentrate on offering them the same. If someone negatively affects you, and worsens it is better to cut that toxic pattern.    

Wrote after 1 year, hoping to continue every week. Thank you for reading.


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