Be gentle to you.

 Some days, your inner voice is relentless. Some days, it's downright rude. When your self-criticism takes over, it hurts. It doesn't make you feel good. It rarely helps you perform better at the moment. It also kills your curiosity and passion and makes it hard to sustain effort over time. It happens to everyone. We all can have a harsh inner critic at times. Silencing your inner critic is the ultimate sign of strength. It's one big step toward being more focused and effective. To start your journey toward personal growth, you’ll need to understand the meaning of self-criticism and where it comes from.

What's self-criticism?

The word criticism is synonymous with judgment, opinion, and assessment. Self-criticism means directing all this evaluation toward yourself. The origins of self-criticism are in our early relationships in our childhood. A tendency toward self-criticism can result from: 

• Bad romantic relation
• Peer pressure at school
• Demanding teachers or bosses
• Competitive sports

It can also stem from your learned behaviors. For instance, pursuing academic excellence may have led to a relentless inner critic. Maybe you put too much pressure on yourself to find a romantic relationship, and so your self-esteem suffered. It helps if you don’t look at your self-criticism as a personality trait, regardless of how it began. You’re not defined by how you treat yourself. And, your identity shouldn't depend on your inner dialogue with yourself. But know that shaking off your self-critical thoughts is hard. It takes a lot of work and sometimes you can't do it all alone. A little courage and time are what needed.

What are the effects of self-criticism on your mental health?

Here are a few ways that self-criticism can impact your mental health:

Self-criticism can allow you to acknowledge any mistake you make and help you avoid them in the future, but it can also be damaging. Constant waves of negative self-thoughts and nasty inner dialogues can impact your mental health. Even if others around you are respectful and kind, it matters how you treat yourself. 

Here are a few ways that self-criticism can impact your mental health:

·        Your relationships with others

Interpersonal relationships could feel strained because of it, and you may start to withdraw from your connections and mute your social life, You may not mean to, but self-criticism impacts those around you when you only think and speak negative thoughts. Your causing you to feel lonely and isolated.

·        Worsen or cause eating disorders

When you have low self-esteem, you're criticizing everything about yourself, including your appearance. Your self-perception is poor, and you obsess over any flaws you may think you have. These thoughts can cause people to self-harm or take drastic measures to change their appearance. Disordered eating impacts both mental health and physical health. Self-criticism can make you hyper-focused on how you look and think that you're never going to be good enough.

·        It overwhelms you with guilt

You may feel guilty when you convince yourself you have failed at something. Self-criticism can lead to comparing yourself to others, which often doesn't end well. As you look back on how your self-criticism and negative thoughts have stunted your personal growth, they can linger in your mind for too long.

·        Distracts you from progress and self-improvement

Self-criticism hinders our opportunities to improve ourselves because it fills us with self-doubt. Constructive criticism is helpful and improves your personal growth. But your self-criticism will stand in your way while you try to improve yourself.

8 ways to overcome self-criticism

Each day, think of ways to be kinder to yourself. These small kindnesses may not change your life overnight, but with time you'll see the power in your new habits. 

Read these eight tips and think about the ones that you can start using today:

1.       Stop thinking that your self-criticism will motivate you to complete your work

2.       Write a list of your favorite personal qualities and skills and think about how they can help you follow your passion.

3.       Talk with a therapist about any trauma you've experienced.

4.       Let go of perfectionism and welcome mistakes.

5.       Think about what advice you'd give to a friend, but apply it to yourself.

6.       Have an equal balance of self-improvement and self-compassion.

7.       Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions each day.

8.       Keep a journal and read it to practice self-gratitude. 

If you're intimidated to try to silence your inner critic, know that you don't have to do it alone. You always can seek help from friends, family, and some professional therapists, and this is an improvement worth making.

Thank you for reading, I come up with weekly blogs every Saturday!