How perfectionism is stopping us from building new habits !

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It often happens to us, we decide to transform our life and decide to build new habits of - waking up early, eating healthy, working out daily, daily 6 hours of studying, reading, writing, skating, learning a new craft, etc. And we get all excited and optimistic and start making plans and generating ideas on how to do it perfectly and accurately.

Ah, this is such a hopeful time and everything seems so dreamy, unfortunately, reality has some other plans!

Our perfect idea of how our perfect habit will go is pretty much never how it actually goes, but why? we have everything planned, we have even manifested and imagined it, and we have even done the calculation. We might do really well for a few days or even a couple of weeks, but inevitably we stop! we will miss a day or two because of tiredness, sickness, some urgent work, visitors, well there can be various reasons to stop. Then, as a result of our expectation that everything will turn out exactly as we had planned and anticipated, things start to go awry. And after being demotivated, we search for a new ideal plan and leave the old one in an effort to fill the void.

The biggest obstacle in adopting any new habit is this- Our optimistic expectations of the habit's course and the outcome we would achieve, are followed by disappointment and self-blame when things don't turn out as we had hoped. The aim is for us to have excellent consistency and perfection in our routines and plans. Wreck us.

Here's what generally happens: -

  • we plan "I'm going to form a new habit of doing X at Y time daily for a specific amount of time in order to accomplish my goal!" our mind gets excited, starts planning and searching for all the possibilities, and imagines how this habit will make us a better person. We are all happy at this stage.
  • we start following X habit with all efforts and zeal.
  • when reality sets in, we discover that things are not flowing as we had predicted because we are not consistent enough, so we start skipping a few days before quitting the entire plan.
  • at last, we become frustrated with the way things are turning out, feel demoralized and disillusioned, doubt our abilities, and compare ourselves to others, which damages our perception of ourselves.
  • the end of habit.

Deep down we all know that the problem is not missing a couple of days, it is the perfect rigid plan, and our expectations from it, we want everything to turn out in the way we had anticipated.

Is there any other way?

                                    REALITY-BASED HABIT CHANGE

 Can we simply think " let me start doing this daily and be curious about what it will be like?" what it will be like to meditate daily, work out daily, practice this particular hobby daily, and study daily for fixed hours daily, without planning much about it.

 So, there will be no fantasy that it will go perfectly and brilliantly. Now, we don't know what will happen or what the outcomes will be, we are just curious about the process; we are not over-planning or over-imagining, we are just practicing to practice it daily with our full intention and honesty. We are improving our determination value.

 Now even if we miss a couple of days, we don't feel discouraged, we feel curious- What got in the way? What is the alternate?  we start to find different and creative ways to do the task, and we start expanding our vision and challenge ourselves to see if we can fulfill our commitments. 

 Each day we learn about ourselves, our minds, our limitations, and our bodies. When we start working on the commitment to better ourselves, we start accepting and embracing our inner strength.

 You'll face success and failure every day, and you will learn and unlearn, but you should search for the stillness within you, that neither the success nor the failure affects you for a longer period of time and you keep on working toward the commitment you made to yourself.

 Instead of searching for consistency and perfection seek - Persistence.

 I come up with weekly blogs every Saturday! Keep reading.

                                      


 

 

Comments

  1. AdityaSeptember 16, 2022 at 8:52 PM

    Perfect collection of thoughts!! Great going👍👍

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnshSeptember 16, 2022 at 10:21 PM

    Very Nice observation and ideas, this is something everyone faces but never think for it. Energy and persistence conquer all things.
    Giving this time is totally worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. shishirSeptember 17, 2022 at 8:49 AM

    Practical way, it may help others too, if followed well

    ReplyDelete
  4. TaxakSeptember 17, 2022 at 2:59 PM

    Your writing is getting sharp and refine, you just keep going like this and you rock girll. Indeed, this blog contains such amazing and helpfull content. Waiting for your next blog 💕🙌

    ReplyDelete

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